As I said in my last weekly pregnancy survey (35 Weeks), it would probably be my last one. The problem was it was not until just a few short hours after it was written I would realize just how true those words would end up being when I felt my water break and we knew our time with Megan Grace was coming to a close.
It was not really a surprise. We knew that her condition was getting worse and my pregnancy complications were also beginning to put me at risk between the bleeding and the excess amniotic fluid I was carrying around due to her condition.
A little after 1 am on Sunday night (Monday morning) I woke up with what I felt were real labor contractions. They were definitely more painful that the Braxton Hicks contractions I'd been having for weeks. The problem was after enduring two late night trips to L&D I really did not want to wake my husband in the middle of the night again just to spend another night in the hospital just to be sent home the next day.
At 2:30ish I felt a huge gush that just kept gushing and I knew either I was losing a life threatening amount of blood or my water had broken. When I got to the bathroom I was able to determine it was my water so we gathered our things and headed out to the hospital knowing it would be only a very short time until we would be meeting our daughter, Megan Grace.
Once we arrived at the hospital, the on call doctor was actually well versed in regards to our case due to prior arrangements made by my doctor for her to serve as a backup in case of an emergency such as this. The stretcher was standing by along with the team of nurses ready to prep me for the OR. They drew my blood, inserted my IV, checked Megan's heart rate, and monitored my contractions.
Earlier in the evening, when I had been pretty sure I was having real labor pains I never did time them however I knew I was having a lot of them in a short period of time. As I was being prepped in triage, they informed me that my contractions were already only 2 minutes apart and man did they hurt.
It was only a few minutes later they were wheeling me down to the OR on the stretcher. Once we made it inside the doors of the OR area I lost it. I was scared along with many other emotions but the nurses were amazing! They helped me keep my cool throughout the whole procedure and I'm eternally grateful for them.
Once we got in to the actual OR they gave me the spinal and hooked me up the IV lines and we were off. It wasn't long before they pulled out our beautiful Megan Grace and brought her over for us to see before they went to clean her up.
She did not make it out of the OR alive however we are just grateful for the wonderful 10 minutes we were able to spend with her before she passed away.
After all this, I was taken to recovery where all of our families and friends came back to see us. I'm so glad they all came to see Little Megan Grace, hopefully it will be a moment they all treasure forever because I know we are glad they were all here to share that experience with us.
We kept her with us for a few hours before we said our goodbyes along with the rest of the family and then it was time to let her go. It does sound strange but although we are both sad in way we are both also so proud of her for fighting as long as she did. What a strong little girl!
Thanks to all of the friends, family, and strangers that have helped walked us through this journey. It would have been a lot more difficult without each of you stepping in to help no matter how big or small the gesture may have been.
Thank you and we love you all!
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
The Rollercoaster Just Keeps Twisting and Turning
On my rollercoaster the most benign tasks sometimes morph into some of the twists that keep us on our toes waiting for the next shoe to drop.
Wednesday night I was laying on the couch reading Handle with Care before deciding I was going to close up shop for the night and head to bed. Someone had other plans. As soon as I stood up, I felt a few gushes of something which did not feel normal. Had my water broken?
Once in the bathroom I discovered more blood than anyone should see at 32 weeks pregnant so we grabbed our hospital bags along with a few other items before heading out to the door to the hospital very quickly.
If you live near me, you also realize that Wednesday night was one filled with severe thunderstorms so this made for an interesting drive to the hospital. On the way there, we made the necessary phone calls letting people know what was going on with us and Megan Grace.
Also, while on the way to the hospital we realized we had left every form of payment we owned at home hence no cash for food at the hospital. Luckily, a wonderful friend of mine just happened to be at the hospital for the breastfeeding class we had signed up for months ago together and met us in the admissions lobby. Thanks dear I owe you (literally).
We ended up staying the night for observation but it was a night filled with emotions of every facet. Was this going to be Megan Grace's birthday? Was I going to have to have a C Section? Were we ready?
The bleeding ended up stopping so I'm home now on semi bedrest and I'm out of work for at least a week. We will reevaluate the situation next week. I'm calling my doctor today though to figure out where we go from here.
Overall, it the evening went pretty smoothly including a few firsts for me such as my first hospital stay and my very first IV. Wonder what is in store for the future?
Wednesday night I was laying on the couch reading Handle with Care before deciding I was going to close up shop for the night and head to bed. Someone had other plans. As soon as I stood up, I felt a few gushes of something which did not feel normal. Had my water broken?
Once in the bathroom I discovered more blood than anyone should see at 32 weeks pregnant so we grabbed our hospital bags along with a few other items before heading out to the door to the hospital very quickly.
If you live near me, you also realize that Wednesday night was one filled with severe thunderstorms so this made for an interesting drive to the hospital. On the way there, we made the necessary phone calls letting people know what was going on with us and Megan Grace.
Also, while on the way to the hospital we realized we had left every form of payment we owned at home hence no cash for food at the hospital. Luckily, a wonderful friend of mine just happened to be at the hospital for the breastfeeding class we had signed up for months ago together and met us in the admissions lobby. Thanks dear I owe you (literally).
We ended up staying the night for observation but it was a night filled with emotions of every facet. Was this going to be Megan Grace's birthday? Was I going to have to have a C Section? Were we ready?
The bleeding ended up stopping so I'm home now on semi bedrest and I'm out of work for at least a week. We will reevaluate the situation next week. I'm calling my doctor today though to figure out where we go from here.
Overall, it the evening went pretty smoothly including a few firsts for me such as my first hospital stay and my very first IV. Wonder what is in store for the future?
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Getting Anxious
The days are coming to a close although we still have a few weeks left. Mentally things are getting harder. I'm more emotional, anxious, etc.
We will get through this together but the next few weeks are going to be tough. The aftermath will be even more difficult.
It really started on Monday (June 1st). Just knowing that next month our little girl will be gone is a tough pill to swallow.
The only way to process that knowledge is to continue to enjoy every moment we have left with her. We are doing that but it gets harder every day.
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers over the next few weeks and months. We appreciate it more than anyone could ever know.
We will get through this together but the next few weeks are going to be tough. The aftermath will be even more difficult.
It really started on Monday (June 1st). Just knowing that next month our little girl will be gone is a tough pill to swallow.
The only way to process that knowledge is to continue to enjoy every moment we have left with her. We are doing that but it gets harder every day.
Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers over the next few weeks and months. We appreciate it more than anyone could ever know.
Friday, May 29, 2009
All done!
So glad the amnio is behind me. It was not the worst thing I've ever done but if I never have to do it again that will be fine by me.
All in all, it happened just like a friend of mine said it would. My nerves were way worse than the actual procedure and it did not take long at all.
That said, I'm really not into physical procedures or pain. It was less than 10 years ago (in college) where I had to be physically put in a headlock to give blood at a doctors office if that tells you anything.
I've come around quite a bit obviously. At last count since last Thursday I've had two shots, four blood draws, and the amnio itself for a grand total of 7 needle sticks :(
If you look a few posts back I've even got battle scars to show for it!
All in all, it happened just like a friend of mine said it would. My nerves were way worse than the actual procedure and it did not take long at all.
That said, I'm really not into physical procedures or pain. It was less than 10 years ago (in college) where I had to be physically put in a headlock to give blood at a doctors office if that tells you anything.
I've come around quite a bit obviously. At last count since last Thursday I've had two shots, four blood draws, and the amnio itself for a grand total of 7 needle sticks :(
If you look a few posts back I've even got battle scars to show for it!
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Friday, May 22, 2009
What is LFCA?
I saw in the comments on one of the previous posts that a lot of wonderfully sweet women came over from LFCA. I've been searching my brain but can't figure it out so my apologies for asking.
I'd love to check it out if someone could enlighten me?
I'd love to check it out if someone could enlighten me?
Where We Stand
is a very confusing location right now. Yesterday, Steve and I spent from 7:45am until about 1pm with doctors only breaking quickly to grab a quick breakfast. This morning I returned to the office to have my glucose test done because for circus of reasons it did not happen yesterday. When I walked into my office to grab my chart they said to come back when I was done because my doctor wanted to see me sooo you can add another 2 hours to the time we spent with doctors yesterday for a grand total of about 7 hours!
The positive of all of this is we have a very muddy picture of where we are going as far as delivery etc.Haha, let me be truthful....we know nothing. This weekend I will be packing my bags for the hospital though just in case because there are few minor complications that could cause and earlier delivery than we anticipated although the chance is still minimal.
Let's see:
1) Based on the ultrasound from yesterday I still have a condition called Placenta Previa. It's not a complete Previa though and my placenta is reallyclose to getting out of the way but if it does not a c/s is our only option. I'm not sure if I have mentioned this before but that is not ideal at all for Megan's condition.
2) We are finally going to go through with the amniocentesis. This has been much debated and thrown around but next Thursday I'm having it done after all. The reason the doctors have made the decision to take on the risk is because at delivery we only have one shot at getting the genetic samples they need. If it does not work for some reason we will not have 100% definitive answers that Megan Grace has OI Type II. Steve and I would then be in a tough situation in the future. The amnio will allow them to have a second chance at getting an accurate diagnosis so we are not left empty handed.
That said, this procedure alone could throw me into labor hence the reason I'm packing this weekend.
3) Then there is the wrench of all monkey wrenches. :drum roll please: My doctor just consulted her calendar and realized that on July 19th she is boarding a plane for France and will not return until AFTER my due date. Wow. This makes me sad in so many ways because she has been more than instrumental in keeping the pieces of this puzzle together along with myself and I'd be very sad not to have her there for Megan's birthday.
There is a small chance we could deliver before she leaves but we have to see if my body is favorable for an induction, if Megan Grace is head down, and if my placenta moves. All of this before July 18th. The only thing we can do is pray and hope the stars align even if it is in the 11th hour. If not, then on to Plan B.
She has a backup who I have not met although we have talked via phone once. She is aware of the situation and willing to step in if needed so that is good news.
Yesterday, we also met with the pediatrician who will be at the hospital to care for Megan Grace and keep her out of pain once she arrives. He was a very compassionate doctor who has been practicing for many years so I feel confident in his abilities. Many of the living children he handles have special needs in some way, shape, or form so he understands our perspective and is willing to do everything he can to make it easier on all of us.
Based on all of this we likely have between 1 week and 10 weeks left with Megan Grace. Hopefully, it is more like 5-6 weeks but only time will tell.......
The positive of all of this is we have a very muddy picture of where we are going as far as delivery etc.Haha, let me be truthful....we know nothing. This weekend I will be packing my bags for the hospital though just in case because there are few minor complications that could cause and earlier delivery than we anticipated although the chance is still minimal.
Let's see:
1) Based on the ultrasound from yesterday I still have a condition called Placenta Previa. It's not a complete Previa though and my placenta is reallyclose to getting out of the way but if it does not a c/s is our only option. I'm not sure if I have mentioned this before but that is not ideal at all for Megan's condition.
2) We are finally going to go through with the amniocentesis. This has been much debated and thrown around but next Thursday I'm having it done after all. The reason the doctors have made the decision to take on the risk is because at delivery we only have one shot at getting the genetic samples they need. If it does not work for some reason we will not have 100% definitive answers that Megan Grace has OI Type II. Steve and I would then be in a tough situation in the future. The amnio will allow them to have a second chance at getting an accurate diagnosis so we are not left empty handed.
That said, this procedure alone could throw me into labor hence the reason I'm packing this weekend.
3) Then there is the wrench of all monkey wrenches. :drum roll please: My doctor just consulted her calendar and realized that on July 19th she is boarding a plane for France and will not return until AFTER my due date. Wow. This makes me sad in so many ways because she has been more than instrumental in keeping the pieces of this puzzle together along with myself and I'd be very sad not to have her there for Megan's birthday.
There is a small chance we could deliver before she leaves but we have to see if my body is favorable for an induction, if Megan Grace is head down, and if my placenta moves. All of this before July 18th. The only thing we can do is pray and hope the stars align even if it is in the 11th hour. If not, then on to Plan B.
She has a backup who I have not met although we have talked via phone once. She is aware of the situation and willing to step in if needed so that is good news.
Yesterday, we also met with the pediatrician who will be at the hospital to care for Megan Grace and keep her out of pain once she arrives. He was a very compassionate doctor who has been practicing for many years so I feel confident in his abilities. Many of the living children he handles have special needs in some way, shape, or form so he understands our perspective and is willing to do everything he can to make it easier on all of us.
Based on all of this we likely have between 1 week and 10 weeks left with Megan Grace. Hopefully, it is more like 5-6 weeks but only time will tell.......
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)