Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Little Megan Grace, Our Daughter, Our Angel

As I said in my last weekly pregnancy survey (35 Weeks), it would probably be my last one. The problem was it was not until just a few short hours after it was written I would realize just how true those words would end up being when I felt my water break and we knew our time with Megan Grace was coming to a close.

It was not really a surprise. We knew that her condition was getting worse and my pregnancy complications were also beginning to put me at risk between the bleeding and the excess amniotic fluid I was carrying around due to her condition.

A little after 1 am on Sunday night (Monday morning) I woke up with what I felt were real labor contractions. They were definitely more painful that the Braxton Hicks contractions I'd been having for weeks. The problem was after enduring two late night trips to L&D I really did not want to wake my husband in the middle of the night again just to spend another night in the hospital just to be sent home the next day.

At 2:30ish I felt a huge gush that just kept gushing and I knew either I was losing a life threatening amount of blood or my water had broken. When I got to the bathroom I was able to determine it was my water so we gathered our things and headed out to the hospital knowing it would be only a very short time until we would be meeting our daughter, Megan Grace.

Once we arrived at the hospital, the on call doctor was actually well versed in regards to our case due to prior arrangements made by my doctor for her to serve as a backup in case of an emergency such as this. The stretcher was standing by along with the team of nurses ready to prep me for the OR. They drew my blood, inserted my IV, checked Megan's heart rate, and monitored my contractions.

Earlier in the evening, when I had been pretty sure I was having real labor pains I never did time them however I knew I was having a lot of them in a short period of time. As I was being prepped in triage, they informed me that my contractions were already only 2 minutes apart and man did they hurt.

It was only a few minutes later they were wheeling me down to the OR on the stretcher. Once we made it inside the doors of the OR area I lost it. I was scared along with many other emotions but the nurses were amazing! They helped me keep my cool throughout the whole procedure and I'm eternally grateful for them.

Once we got in to the actual OR they gave me the spinal and hooked me up the IV lines and we were off. It wasn't long before they pulled out our beautiful Megan Grace and brought her over for us to see before they went to clean her up.

She did not make it out of the OR alive however we are just grateful for the wonderful 10 minutes we were able to spend with her before she passed away.

After all this, I was taken to recovery where all of our families and friends came back to see us. I'm so glad they all came to see Little Megan Grace, hopefully it will be a moment they all treasure forever because I know we are glad they were all here to share that experience with us.

We kept her with us for a few hours before we said our goodbyes along with the rest of the family and then it was time to let her go. It does sound strange but although we are both sad in way we are both also so proud of her for fighting as long as she did. What a strong little girl!

Thanks to all of the friends, family, and strangers that have helped walked us through this journey. It would have been a lot more difficult without each of you stepping in to help no matter how big or small the gesture may have been.

Thank you and we love you all!

21 comments:

  1. I am so sorry that you are having to go through this. I will continue to pray for you and your family, that God will continue to carry you through this hard season! Thank you for being strong enough to share your journey with us!

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  2. I know she was beautiful and I am so glad you were able to meet her. You have been on my mind nonstop. Praying for you and I'm here if you need me.
    Mega

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  3. You are such a strong person... Megan Grace must have got that from her mama. Praying for yall!!

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  4. Your post brought tears to my eyes. I'm so very sorry for your loss. Big hug to you and your family!

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  5. I am so sorry for your loss, but those 10 minutes must have been magical! You will be in my thoughts. I honestly dont even know what to say. I am sorry.

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  6. I'm a PAL nestie and I have been following your story since your u/s. I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I know that your daughter must have been such a beautiful amazing little girl. She has a pretty amazing Momma and Daddy. Many thoughts and prayers to your family during this tough time.

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  7. You are such an amazing woman! Your strength never ceases to amaze me. I know that heaven is sweeter now that Megan Grace is with Jesus. My heart breaks for you. You are continually in my thoughts and prayers. Hugs, Emmylou.

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  8. Oh, Amber. I'm so sorry for the loss that you and Steve have experienced. You are amazing parents. I hope that God heals your body and your heart quickly. You are in my prayers and on my mind.

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  9. I'm so, so sorry for your loss of your precious daughter. I'll be praying for peace for your family.

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  10. I am praying for you and your family. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story.

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  11. God bless your sweet Megan Grace. Thank you for sharing your labor and delivery story. I am so glad to know that you had those 10 precious minutes with your daughter before she died and then more time afterwards to introduce her to your family and friends. I know this is a very bittersweet time for you. I will continue to hold you, your husband and all those whose lives have been touched by Megan's close in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there. I am proud of you. Take care and God bless.

    "What we have once enjoyed and loved deeply we can never lose. For all that we love deeply becomes a part of us." ~ Helen Keller

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  12. Megan Grace was beautiful and precious. I am so sorry that she is no longer with you but I know that short few moments meant the world to you. I'm so sorry for your loss.

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  13. I wish you and your family continued strength and peace. Megan is in heaven and in her short time she touched so many lives. Thank you for letting us know her story and share her short life with you and yours.

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  14. It just broke my heart to read this post. Your words are filled with kindness and love. I pray for continued strength for you and your family in this this time. Thanks for sharing Megan Grace's story with us. I know that it couldn't be easy.

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  15. I've never posted a comment before but felt inclined to do so now......Your words and strength are amazing. My prayers are with you and your family during this time and I am sending big hugs your way. You have one beatiful angel up above.

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  16. I'm so sorry - what a touching story. I'm glad you had a chance to spend some time with her before she passed.

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  17. Megan is so blessed to have an amazing Mommy like you. I have been praying for your family and will continue to do so.

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  18. I have been following your story for some time, but never posted before. Please know that although I am a complete stranger, you and your family have been in my thoughts and prayers constantly. I thank you for having the courage to share your story and hope that you find healing in knowing that you and your little angel have touched so many lives, including mine.

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  19. I am so sorry for your loss and your story is heartbreaking. I will pray for you and your family. Just remember and cherish that 10 minutes and the weeks prior. Keep your chin up and look towards the stars.

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  20. I have followed your blog for awhile and I wanted to tell you that you are in my prayers and You have been such an inspiration to me. Knowing I will face something similar in just a few days I keep looking back to your blog for encouragement and support. You have been such a blessing to me. I am so afraid to go into labor and mostly so afraid to say hello and goodbye way too soon. Hugs and prayers, Jenna

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  21. I am so amazed by you and your husband. You have went through so much and to be able to post it for all to read and pray for you just goes to show how much of a strong person you are and that is where your beautiful baby Megan Grace got all her strenght from. I will always remember you and what a special person you are.

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